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Into the sewn up seams of my heartstrings unwind [entries|friends|calendar]

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[30 Oct 2004|12:29am]
[ mood | artistic ]

so yeah ive been goin thru some shit lately but ill get the fuck over it. i watched the movie DAMIEN today.

Just a thought
An artist isn’t born out of a series of techniques and different methods. An artist is an artist at birth. Burdened by their open mind; they are born to create. They are shunned by the norm and told they must shut down their divine knowledge to reach an equivalence of others shallow views. They express things through their art rather than meaningless interactions. Their beauty constantly criticized while people remain ignorant of its depth. Such ignorance is the only gift society has given them and it will always stand out in their minds. Their minds more valuable than any possible procession. Peoples jealousy is just another failed attempt to conform them. People put down their differences and refer to them as weird as if weird is the only description known. It is not them who defined their unique differences; but as the sun, the moon, and the stars they are here. No certainty is known in life when questions go unanswered. Artists ponder these questions unlike those who thirst for their answers. Isolation and individualism is what they have circum to when people force their fantasies to fade. They will not let closed minded and envious people take their views first one has to reach into their skulls and take out their brains.

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[17 Oct 2004|08:09pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

ive completely fallen apart. everythings fallen apart. somethings gotta give cause i cant take it anymore. miss you to amber. i even miss chris orr........holy shit i cant believe i just admitted that. i quit smoking cigarettes for good been two days now.........i swear to fuckin god though ill never pick up a damn cigerette again. i quit smokin pot. shits stupid. i quit everything..cept for the occassional drink. i just want someone who will come along and drastically change my life. for the better
and actually give a fuck. whatever i refuse to care.

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[09 Oct 2004|02:52am]
Seven minutes past five
Burdened by my own oppressing thoughts
Burdened by your life
My faith, my love, my integrity
Sits at the end of your knife
Push me away
As you drown in all your fear
Beg for me stay
When reality is drawing near
Now you know
Know you see
Everything we could’ve had
Everything you missed out on me
A feeling like this
I cant say never
Why did I believe you
When you said we were forever

Never…….never again
Why do you have to be so mean
Why did you waste my time
…………make up your mind

So leave me behind and save a useless fight
Devour my broken heart
And choke on every bite
Grab your gun and pull the trigger
Cause my insides you killed long ago
You laughed as I died
Drink my poison tears
The tears for you I cried

Never…….never again
Why do you have to be so mean
Why did you waste my time
…………make up your mind

Take your lethal words
And hurt somebody new
Take your wasted emotion
Now I’m finally through

anyone steals my lyrics and i will FUCKIN KILL YOU
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[09 Oct 2004|02:43am]
[ mood | content ]

so today i.........went to a block then just chilled with ed. came home played guitar broke a string then me an amber went up to farfield and filled out applications. later we went to the khs football game met up with ed an ruffin. a failed attempt to enjoy a highschool function. then me amber an ed went to eds then planet music were i purchased senses fail and as i lay dying cds. then we revisited eds mom then went home. yesterday we went out and bought our senses fail tickets......october 21st get excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got the best grades on my pr's that ive gotten since like the 6th grade...go me.......so were chillen to this cd like 2 weeks ago and ed tells me this song reminds him of me...half smoked ciggerettes and your the trash.......cant make a wife out of a whore i just like to thank you for that ed .....i drew you an awesome picture today sam if your reading this.....music is your only friend

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[20 Sep 2004|11:51am]
[ mood | mischievous ]

hello...ive been up to absolutely nothing.....chillen with sam, ed, and chris fellini. yeah my lifes pretty boring...i go to school asssociate with noone come home listen to johnny cash and the clash. im am happy to know that jillian newton is the new kellam pimp. i am writing lyrics for eds band soon to be named a band better than haviom. i just snook out with ed and im am now pulling a 007 at sams casa listening to eye of the tiger..............NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

So devour my broken heart and choke on every bite

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[26 Aug 2004|01:38pm]
well im officially depressed that i got my schedule.............I HATE SCHOOL!! people suck. and amber sucks more.hitler aka stepdad sucks. twofaced people suck. your mom sucks. live journal sucks. sam you need to come back. i miss ya!!!

im single............wootwoot!
4 comments|post comment

[13 Aug 2004|03:28pm]
i need some new fuckin friends
8 comments|post comment

[13 Aug 2004|03:16pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

my birthday was ......alrite...i never went to nagshead..i jus went shoppin then chilled with amber and terel.yesterday i chilled with kristy, terel, chris, josh, and my friend jazzy...which was kewl...then i found out that this bitch i used to be really good friends with fucked me over then started talkin shit. I HATE GIRLS with a fuckin passion and im done with everyones bullshit. i refuse to chill with anyone from kempsville high school all together with the exeption of sam amber & chris. im going to get my belly button peirced today...get excited

yeah i noe jamie we gotta hang out sometime....call me

srry bout wed. sam

srry to anyone ive been a bitch to who didnt deserve it lately ive been in a real shitty mood.

if your name starts with a k and ends with an a shoot yourself rite now

fuck the drama

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[09 Aug 2004|01:06am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

going surfing tommorrow....get excited
my birthdays wed.
today- i chilled with chris .then we went to the mall with sam and her dad....good times. later on as i was sitting in my room when i heard something scratch my window. it turned out to be amber..get even more excited.lol. yeah so my day was pretty nice i guess.

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[03 Aug 2004|08:03pm]
devour my broken heart
and choke on every bite
and take what is left
cause i left it all for you
dont try to sew
what has already been unsewn
dont try to tell me what love is
cause love is what i dont want to know
2 comments|post comment

[30 Jul 2004|11:44pm]
nobody ever comments on my lj dammit!!!!!
8 comments|post comment

[28 Jul 2004|04:45pm]
[ mood | amused ]

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

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[28 Jul 2004|01:13pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

today......i had fun tlkin to one of ambers gay ass friends...chilled with amber and umm...slept...arent you glad you get to read my live journal now.........

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[27 Jul 2004|02:38am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

im bored as anything rite now....didnt do much today...went to the mall,macaroni grill,etc. just got back from ptown with my sister..that was umm interesting. chris is in nagshead so ive been kinda bored lately..yea i noe i need 2 get a life.


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[21 Jul 2004|01:25am]
sorry i meant shoot myself............try me........im sure some of you assholes will...(cough cough..sam).....
2 comments|post comment

[21 Jul 2004|01:18am]
[ mood | blah ]

thursday-hung out with chris, kara, and ed
friday-hung out with amber,the wonderful brittney bloom and her friend jayme
sat.- hung out with ed, kara, chris, sam, and colette
sunday-nodda damn thang.most enjoyable day of my week.
monday-everybody came to chill at my house..sam spent the nite..we managed to stay as loud as possible
tues.-chris came over......sam left me..teardrop..
i just like to say for the record if i ever in my life hear another ashlee simpson song i will shot myself

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[13 Jul 2004|10:07pm]
never hated someone so much
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[11 Jul 2004|01:42am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

well today really really sucked ....easily the worst day of the summer. i definitely had to take this 6 hr. cpr class.......it was hell to say the least. i chilled with whitney for a hot sec. then i went over ambers. i came home and my dad made me cancel plans with chris. then my dad was all lets spend the rest of the day cleanin out my big ass garage cause its only like 90 degrees outside. so of course i had some quality time with me padre...def. not fun. after that i was not allowed to sleep.......yeah and u thought ur life sucked...............

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[10 Jul 2004|12:06am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

today was fun....i woke up and rearranged my room like 20 times funny thing is i switched it back to what i originally had. so later i chilled with chris.we went 2 see anchorman>that movie was hilarious<definitely on my list of favorites. then me and chris came back to my house and hung out 4 the remainder of the day. yeah i noe ur jealous.

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[08 Jul 2004|10:14pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

tues.-i went over to chris's then we called me friend mandy and went to the skatepark....then the beach........then to chris's.....then to work....all together i had a pretty kewl day...
wednesday- absolutely nothing (unless u count sleeping)
today- i woke up and attempted 2 layout didnt last very long. im doomed to being pale FOREVER. so later on chris and jacki came over and we had a pretty kewl time. notice me n chris are never alone. were gunna have to do somethin bout that. haha. well rite now im extremely hyper with nothing to do but talk bout myself so....yeah..........ill stop now.........luv ya xx

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